Surgery tomorrow

We had a busy day today, Paddy had to go up to the hospital for pre-admin before her surgery tomorrow. I think we just about saw everyone that we could possibly see, it was an emotional day for me as reality has set in.

The good thing is that when we saw Mr Walsh the surgeon who is operating on Paddy he told us that we have made the right decision, as up until now he wouldn't commit either way. I think the reason for this is that it had to be our decision alone, he could tell us all the facts but ultimately it was up to us. So hearing him say that, well it just made John and I feel a whole lot better.

Everybody has been so generous to John and I, my lovely friend Lisa organised us to do casts of Paddy's feet so we can always remember what her little foot is like, seeing the casts, it has made us realise how different her feet are, I was very surprised, I mean I look at her feet every day but seeing them done like that, well it is totally different. Becks and her family sent us some beautiful flowers, and the wonderful Mums from school have organised meals for us, I was totally overwhelmed! We have also had phone calls from overseas to wish us all well. My sister in law Liz, she has been great ringing to check on us all the time. Patricia in Australia who has Sarah who also has FH and had her foot amputated when she was 18 months, well we had a lovely chat, which made me feel a whole lot better. We can't forget my lovely Mum who is coming to stay and will help us out, what would we do without our Mums eh? Nanny Jo from Wales has also been keeping the blower glowing with love and support.

We will keep everyone posted with how it all goes. Speak to you soon.

Mixed emotions

I feel very flat today, mixed feelings about everything. I keep looking at Paddy's foot and I can't believe that it won't be there next week. I know deep down we are doing the right thing as we have to look long term and not think how good she is at the moment. Having said that Paddy can't walk too far, without her leg hurting, and she does tire quicker than Georgie. She does give it a good go though, she is such a trooper!

Yesterday I showed her pictures again of what her leg is going to look like without a foot, and also pictures of LL and I said to her she still does have a choice, I said with LL she would still keep her foot, but she was adamant that she wanted her 'magic leg'. I keep going on to Paddy about things, because my biggest fear is she is so good about everything now that after the surgery she is going to freak out, I just don't know how much she actually absorbs, I just want her to be prepared. The other day she said 'Mummy stop going on about things!' John said he wished he had been here to hear that!

Matters aren't helped by my poor old Dad got rushed to hospital again today. He phoned us at 5.30 this morning to tell us that he was having really bad angina attacks. John and I were still asleep and at first I thought it was the pub being burgled and it was the security firm ringing us, so John rushed off to be with him. in our family when it rains it pours!

We have a date!

Finally after what seems like ages we have a date for Paddy's surgery. I had been on the phone to the hospital for the last couple of weeks chasing things up, as we have to got through the public system here in NZ, things take awhile to sort out. Even though I had been in touch it still was a huge shock when we got phoned yesterday. I was at gymnastics with Emma and her friend Sophie, when John phoned me on my mobile, my legs went like jelly, you think you are prepared but I don't think anything can prepare you for that phone call.

So next Wednesday 28th we go in and I think the operation will be first thing in the morning, we have to go the day before for a pre op run down, they will explain everything again, maybe give us the chance to change our minds, it is such a huge thing, but to me the other option is just not a option!

Last night John and I talked about, when do we tell Paddy, now or closer to the surgery, we decided to tell her now, she took it all in her stride as usual, I just hope she handles it just as well after the surgery, in fact I think she is doing much better than John and I. My kids never fail to surprise me, especially Paddy with her happy go lucky attitude, she is just wonderful!

So there we are, finally after four years of watching and waiting, and I think the biggest decision of our lives we are here, ready and waiting, for this means we can move forward without this hanging over our heads, and I tell you that has to be a good thing. Don't get me wrong I know we have a lot of hard work ahead of us, but at least things are happening and I think that is great!

Difficult questions?

Last night as I was giving Paddy a cuddle before she went to sleep, she asked me 'how will my little foot get to heaven?'

I honestly didn't know what to say for a few minutes, my beautiful little girl asked me one of those questions that I was lost for words, as people who know me I always have something to say!

So after a deep breath, where I got my self together I told her the Fairies took it up there, I am not particularly religious, but I guess for Paddy if it makes her feel better then that is where the foot is going! I have to say, that is the thing that makes me feel the saddest about this whole ordeal, where her little foot will actually end up. To me, and I am sure John feels the same, Paddy's foot is beautiful, it just really isn't that good and later on in life it will be useless. But to think they are going to take it off and probably discard it, well it makes me feel awful, but what can we do, we can't leave it and LL is just not an option for us, I just hope that when Paddy is an adult she feels the same way too!

Then this morning as I was getting the girls dressed for the day, Georgie told me very firmly that she no longer wanted to dress as a twin!!!!

Before I had children I always thought how naff it was when I saw twins who where dressed the same, never would I do that I said. Well roll on 15 years and I ended up with identical twin girls, and I couldn't help myself I ended up dressing them the same, it was just easier that way, and when you have three little ones we all want an easy life don't we? So I guess it is an end of an era really, the plus side is I will be able to tell them apart in photo's and it is good the Georgie wants a bit of independence, Paddy I don't think was too happy, but I guess it is all part of growing up!

Poppy Tony

Emma, Paddy and Georgie's Poppy, (my Dad), had to go to hospital again this week. He has an auto immune disease called Wegener's Granulomatosis.

http://www.angelfire.com/ga/wegeners/faq.html

Basically his body is attacking itself, and there is a lot of side effects. Also my Dad being my Dad (or could it be men in general?) he doesn't tend to go to the doctor till he is on deaths door. He had a really bad nose bleed that lasted 24 hours and consequently his haemoglobin dropped to dangerous levels and he needed a blood transfusion. This is the second time in eight weeks this has happened, last time he also got really bad angina attacks because not enough oxygen was getting to his heart.

Anyway after 24 hours in hospital he was well enough to come home, but I have to say he looked knackered. There was an old man in his room with emphysema, I have never heard a cough like it in my life, any one who smokes should go and visit someone with this awful disease, it will put you off for life!!

On a happy note, I am just glad my Dad is feeling better, and out of hospital!